Broken Bonds

Gabe pulled away, laughing, tugging on the man's hand at the same time. "I feel like some horrible Pantene commercial. Come on love, let's get back to the hotel, better not to start anything here too. As much as I could care less where it happens, I'd rather not spend my night in jail for indecent exposure, and you're about ready to cave in." To the subway, he could clearly remember Train 5, three stops.

Ukon nodded followed Gabe’s lead, like a puppy. He was nervous. Anxious. Unprepared. All the feelings of a lost little boy mixed in the man’s chest. Most of all, though, he was embarrassed. He couldn’t lift his eyes from the ground, trailing on the heels of Gabe’s shoes. “Sorry…” a timid apology left his lips. He had used to be a gentleman. Back home, before he was broken, he could court anyone. Now, he couldn’t even make it through a single date. How things had changed.

"What are you apologizing for. Come on, let's just get to the train first! I told you, it's okay if you act a little funny." He pulled even more on the man's hand. He needed to get him out of the crowd, someplace cool and relaxed.

Ukon’s steps quickened the more his arm was tugged and he followed in silence. The pair made their way to the proper subway line. It would be 3 minutes, according to the large screen facing them, until their car arrived. Each minute felt like an eternity.

As the metro car approached and slowed, Ukon shuffled on. Still holding Gabe’s hand more tightly than he had to. The silence was awkwardly settling over them. He was ruining things. His eyes raised and fell, his mouth opened and then shut again, nothing that passed through his mind being important enough to pass through his lips. His mind raced. “Tell me about falling in love…”

"Love? In a way it's maddening, depending on who you're courting. I suppose I am not one to say though, I killed my only love. Everything after him was a fling really. I just wanted a partner, someone to help with chores around the house and in the bedroom at times. Like a friend more or less. Falling in love, you just think solely of that one boy or that one girl. Everything you do is to impress them, in hopes they take a glance at you. You day dream during your studies, thinking how great it would be if even they would reward you a kiss on the cheek. I think it's a disease honestly, it drives you to so many extremes." He pushed passed people on the subway, trying to find open air. Unbeknownst to many, Gabe had spent years in university studying the human mind, it's reactions. A genius in delinquents' clothing. Humans were fascinating to a disturbing level. He had learned to save himself, and so he hid behind this spectra-colored facade.

"I always wondered… if it was the same for normal people. “Though I fell in love before I met him, those words describe me perfectly. Everything I did was so that he would deem me worthy.” The fighter’s shoulders heaved slightly. “We both seem to have been unlucky in love, eh?” He stayed close to Gabe, weaving behind through crowds. “I…don’t mind diseases…” He smiled a little and though Gabe couldn’t see, he was sure it was evident through his voice. “And I’m one hell of a fling…” Realizing what he had said, the fighter burst out into laughter. “What I mean is… this will be interesting.”

Once he found a space among the train he liked, he stopped, holding Ukon close. "And what if I don't ant it to be a fling? I don't trust people. I don't like a lot of people. That is why I am good at my job, I can bring out the wrong I see in every person, I can make them my version of human. I smile because I have to. But I like you."

Ukon buried his face in Gabe’s chest. Positioned like this Ukon’s slender body and long hair would easily have him mistaken for a woman. At least once this evening, people weren’t staring. “You’re crazy if you choose me.” He pulled himself a little closer. “I don’t want it to be a fling either, but asking more than that… I haven’t earned the right yet.” After a pause, the fighter murmured a few more words. “I like you too. Or I wouldn't let you seduce me so easily..."

"I was mad for awhile. But who's to say that I'm completely better? I like keeping secrets, does Ukon want to be one of them? We can have a quiet house. With taupe draperies." This close Gabe leaned on the man, his hair conditioned. It was noticeable this close. He smelled powdery, clean. "You smell pretty. Like a baby blanket. You're sweet."

“I hope you’re not. I think that I am best suited to someone who is just a little mad.” His arms wrapped around Gabe, still standing as a woman would against him. Enjoying the strange sense of privacy even in public. “I was never good at secrets, so you’ll have to meet my family…” His voice trailed off. What would his parents think if he returned home without his sacrifice. And with this man. “We can spend half the year in your quiet house and half the year in mine… they film a lot of movies in Vancouver, you could easily find work…” His mind continued day dreaming, his mouth unable to keep up. “Sorry” He laughed. “I get.. Ahead of myself.” A pause. “You… feel good… warm… comfortable…”

"Your definition of a little may be different then mine. But, I'll go meet your parents, I'll introduce them to their future grandson. The air might be better for him up there, out of the humidity. Although, I currently bought a house in Pennsylvania. The northern end, beautiful weather they have. Stop one." He mumbled, looking out the window.

“For someone like me, the more the better…” Ukon’s mind raced to his parents. What would they think? “I don’t know how my parents will react. But it is your duty to ask them to give me away to you.” He laughed into the strong chest he was pressed against. “A grandchild will surprise them. I had… planned to die young. Fighter’s don’t often live to a very old age… We'll do whatever is best for him, you're right. I don't need to live back home.“ He tilted his head upwards and his gaze fell on the bottom of Gabe’s chin. “Stop two…” he announced, as the doors opened again.

Gabe chucked, "That can't always be true. Ellie's still a little one, in mind. He's growing much more quickly now. I bought a house sort of in the country. It's an old World War Two army house. They build complexes for the soldier's families to live in. The mentality of that era, I wish I could drown in it. It's a sturdy home, I like it. The backyard's a good size. I even have one of those old telephones. We could get a puppy. Maybe even adopt a daughter with pig tails. We could be picture-esc." His mind spewing out ideas, completely shut off from the valve. Barely conscious, he realized he was stroking the man's hair now. The train slowed one last time. Gabe gave a bow, "I'll give you the honors."

“To have a picture perfect family you would have to find yourself a beautiful wife. She would cook for you and clean and have perfect hair and makeup. She would watch Ellie when you were away and sing him lullabies. And cuddle with your adopted girl, doing her hair in pigtails.” He kissed the hand gently. “I may not be picture perfect, but I can do most of those things…” Ukon’s cheeks flushed as people around them noticed that he was a man. He took Gabe’s hand and pulled him out the door quickly, away from those eyes.

"Mmm, I don't really want a wife. Women are too fussy. I don't want to be perfect either, just close to it. The apartment's kiddy corner to the left." He took the lead, pulling him in the direction he stated. The man was awkward, he could read it. "Don't worry about other people. They're just looking for conversation during drinks. They don't know your name, don't mind it."

“I’m glad you don’t want one! I would be devastated if you did. There is only so much I’d do for love, you know.” Ukon smiled, speeding up to run ahead of Gabe. “Fine. I won’t worry about them at all!” He pulled the man ,laughing, and dashed out into traffic, dodging cars. It was the quickest way. The whole while though, despite the apparent chaos, he was very conscious of where Gabe was. Always sure no harm would come to him. It was a fighter’s instinct.

"Hmm, everybody's a little bit lazy. . . " He mumbled off, watching the man dart dangerously through the hellish traffic, while he cautiously ranged between speeding cars and painted lines. He didn't like cars.

Ukon reached out and pulled Gabe into him as they made is safely across the street. “Lazy?..” The fighter asked, a little unsure of what Gabe was talking about. His voice rang a little quietly, compared to the robust laughter of his spontaneous life risking venture.

"You said you could only do so much. I understand, everybody deserves a lazy day." He simply smiled, patting the man's shoulder. "Come on, let's get inside; we're almost there."

Ukon pouted. “It’s not because I don’t want to put effort into making you happy. I just would make a terrible woman! But I will be the best house-husband you’ve ever had. Promise.” He followed his dates lead, his heart beating at an irregularly fast rate.

"You'll be the only house-husband I've ever had. Once again, I really have no interest in women, so don't scare me with such talk. I like you the way you are right now best, so don't change." Why the busy streets? So many cars. In his mind it took way to long to cross a simple road. The hotel was large and contemporary, slightly warm on the inside.

Ukon smiled. “Then it will be too easy for me to be the best. I’ll have to come up with something else…” As the entered the hotel, his eyes fixed on Gabe. How had this happened so quickly? He felt a mixture or so many things. Elation, anxiousness, guilt. His heart ached for this, and he true name throbbed. His hand reached out and gently touched the other man’s cheek. As discretely as he could. Trying to avoid prying eyes.

Ukon's motions were awkward, nervous, cautious. Gabe didn't like the feel of the hand on his cheek, it was too warm. He turned around, sensing the man's self-awareness, placing his hands on Ukon's shoulders. Keep it as gentleman-like as possible, like business partners. His smile was meek, he stares down to reach the man. "Are you feeling alright? Don't worry about competition so much, just worry about yourself and doing as much as you can. Just do your job well. It'll all filter out the right way." Code.

The way he was being handled, Ukon wasn’t sure what to do. Had he lost already? Was he already defeated? He felt that he was. Probably because he didn’t understand Gabe. Though, truth be told, at this moment in his life he didn’t really understand much of anything. He let out a quick laugh before speaking. Underneath it, there was a hint of pain. “Just do my best and things will work out, eh? I didn’t peg you as such an optimist.”