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 |  Subject: Echoless Sacrifice: Tanaka Noriko  Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:40 am | |
| Name:
Tanaka Noriko
Nickname:
Nori
True name:
Echoless
Fighter:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] (Username: Satoshi)
Age:
19
Birthday:
May 17, 1991
Appearance:
Height:
5'4"
Build:
Thin
Eyes:
Light brown/honey
Hair:
Black
Ears & tail:
Charcoal
Name location:
Base of her neck
Misc.:
Scar on left bicep and left shoulder
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(Pretend she has ears.)
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Personality:
Everything that has ever mattered to her seems to disappear and takes a piece of her heart each time. Abandoned by most of her family and a fighter, she’s on the verge of losing faith and becoming like the rest of the zombies that walk the earth; useless. Tired of always losing what’s dear to her, she has learned how to hide her cold, distant demeanor giving people what they want; a facade of happiness.
A daydreamer, playing in a world where the grass really is greener; the sun always shines; where innocence still exists; a place she never knew. She often uses her dreams as an escape from the constant swirl of thoughts and memories rattling around in her head or when something has attempted to crack the shell around her heart again. She doesn’t like when the memories and questions comes to the surface. It causes her to face the past and the present; to face her heart; it means to have to feel and feelings have become much too trivial to deal with. In the end, it only means heartbreak and disappointment.
Quiet, but not as shy as she once was, she doesn’t mind having people in her life as long as they don’t get too close. She can’t hold a decent conversation, words just never come out right or she simply has nothing to say, but she does like to listen. It helps her concentrate on something other than her own issues, depending on the person. What people don’t know can’t hurt them, or rather, it protects her and the minute someone tries to cross that threshold, she’ll change the subject.
Likes:
Daisies, plush toys, sweets, the stars, books, bunnies
Dislikes:
Rain, mirrors, winter, sour flavors
Family:
Tanaka Ayane (La Polvere): [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Tanaka Ichiro (Thoughtless): [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Background:
(For the sake of understanding, I didn’t use “baby talk.”)
December 12, 1996 (Nori: 5 years old, Ichi: 10 years old)
Ichiro had an accident today. He slipped on the ice and hit his head. Now he is in the hospital sleeping. Mommy said if we hadn’t been playing on the pond, it wouldn’t have happened. She said it was my fault.
Mommy looked really mad. She yelled at me and hurt me. Daddy yelled at her. He took me home, and we got ice cream on the way. I wonder when Ichi will be able to come home. I already miss him.
July 27, 1998 (Nori: 7 years old, Ichi: 12 years old)
I met someone at school today. I’ve never see her before. She told me about a lot of confusing stuff. She told me someone was looking for me, someone very special. She said I would have to go to another school, but after school, I always have to go right home and I can’t leave the house without Daddy. I’m not allowed to tell Mommy and Daddy about it either. Maybe if Ichi wakes up I can tell him about it. He’s really smart and probably knows how to get there. Mommy and Daddy might let me go then.
I think Mommy wasn’t feeling good. She was in bed all day, but she didn’t hurt me. When Daddy came home, he played with me. He brought me to the rose garden. He said he saw Ichi today, but he’s still sleeping. He was acting kinda funny and smiling a lot. He said I was very pretty and gave me a kiss and a great big hug and he kept touching me funny. I wish Ichi would wake up so he could play with Daddy and me.
April 3, 2001 (Nori: 10 years old, Ichi: 15 years old)
Dad’s been acting weird lately. He’s been very clingy and been doing a lot of weird things to me. Ya know, touches me funny? It’s not normal and it’s been happening for a few years, but I’ve already lost Mom and Ichiro, I don’t want to lose him too. It’s making my really depressed.
I think Mom knows about it. She was angrier than usual. She pulled me down the stairs. I ended up tripping and pulled her down with me. I’ve never seen her so angry. She pinned me to the floor. She screamed at me. She said I was a sinner; I brought the devil into our family by flaunting myself around Dad. She called me a slut and a home wrecker. She said I did that to Ichiro too and if he died, it was my fault.
My head hurts, I’m sure I’m going to have a black eye and I think I broke a finger. I locked myself in my room. I’m sure Dad’s going to be pissed and I really don’t care. I’m waiting for the day he knocks Mom’s teeth in.
On a good note, I was thinking about a girl I met long ago and what she told me, I wonder how long I’ll have to wait. I could really use the support right now.
March 5, 2002 (Nori: 11years old, Ayane: 13 years old, Ichi: 16 years old)
Mom and Dad brought something home today. I’m not happy. Its name is Ayane and it’s a boy. It’s to be my new brother. A new brother. If I remember, I have a perfectly good brother lying in the hospital. Why do I need a new one? He’s not even blood related! They adopted him! Mom and Dad sure are happy about it. I think he’s gross.
When I told Mom, she got really mad. She said they wouldn’t have had to do this if I hadn’t hurt Ichiro and slapped me. My cheek is bright red and the second time she missed and hit my nose. It won’t stop bleeding. Dad said he was going to take me to the hospital because it might be broken, but I have to tell the doctor I tripped and fell. It’s the same thing every time I go there. It’s a new excuse each time.
August 30, 2003 (Nori: 12 years old, Ayane: 14 years old, Ichi: 17 years old)[
Ichiro woke up today! We weren’t allowed to see him right away. The doctors had to run a few tests and explain a couple of things to him. They said he had a panic attack, so we had to wait for a couple of hours. When we did see him, Mom and Dad cried. I haven’t seen Mom look so happy in a long time. When I got a chance to see Ichi, he said I grew up a lot. He was really nice to Ayane who was really quiet the whole time. I told Ichi I couldn’t wait until we got home.
The doctors said he would have to stay in the hospital until the end of the week so they can monitor him. They said we‘d have to take extra precaution because his brain is underdeveloped and they don’t know how long it will take him to learn. We have to remember he’s only 17 on the outside and 10 on the inside. I can do that and I think everything is going to be just fine.
May 17, 2005 (Nori: 14 years old, Ayane: 16 years old, Ichi: 19 years old)
Today is my birthday. I was looking forward to cake and ice cream and spending time with Ichi, but not like this. I’m in the hospital. I have 22 stitches in my left arm and 37 in my left shoulder. The doctor said if it was any deeper, I might not have made it. When I woke up, he asked me what happened. I told him I was mugged, force of habit. I couldn’t tell him the truth. It’s too horrible and Mom was right all along. Daddy tried to take my ears. That’s why she stabbed me, I deserved it. It’s this cursed body and face of mine. It made Daddy a bad person; I made Daddy a bad person.
Ichi and Ayane have been here the whole time. I was surprised to see Aya here. I’ve always been mean to him, unless I needed something, so I didn’t think he would bother. I have respect for him now and maybe we’ll grow to be “family.”
I think Ichi was the one that brought me here. He’s progressed really quickly in nearly two years. I think he’s trying to grow up fast for me. I can’t count the number of times he’s apologized to me for being in the hospital and not being able to look out for me. I always tell him it was my fault he was in the hospital. If I hadn’t wanted him to pull me in the sled, he never would have been hurt.
Maybe none of this would have happened.
But, does it really matter? It doesn’t to me. I don’t care anymore. I know Mom and Dad will never love me. Maybe I’ll never be loved period. Do I want to be loved? It seems too complicated and painful. I don’t want to love. I don’t want to feel anymore. I just want to find one person, a special person. They never came for me, so maybe I should just look for them. Maybe there’s a reason they never came. Maybe I’m not good enough after all. Maybe they found someone better, but I want to find them.
That’s all I have left. I don’t even have a home anymore. I wonder what will happen to Ichi and Aya.
June 24, 2006 (Nori: 15 years old, Ayane: 17 years old, Ichi: 20 years old)
I’ve had such a hard time finding a job. Everyone says, “A homeless girl like you will defile our good name.” Good? No, not at all. A good person would help a girl my age get off the streets. Luckily, I found an elderly couple that owns a shop with an apartment above it. They offered me the room and said they will garnish my wages to cover rent. It’s the nicest thing anyone has done for me. It’s a relief I found them.
Ichi bought me a cell phone last year to contact him. He promised to visit everyday, but he couldn’t leave with me yet. He said, “I need to be strong enough to protect you.” I cried when he went back to that house because I was scared for him. Deep down I know they would never hurt him, it’s just so lonely without him, but he always made sure to bring me food and clean clothes. During the winter he made sure, I had plenty of blankets and coats or made sure I ended up in a shelter when it was really bad out. He always had a sorrowful look on his face when he’d leave. I’m sure he just felt bad leaving me here, but I was fine. I was better off. There have only been a few times I’ve been hurt, but Ichi was always there on time.
Ayane said he’d come to visit too. He’s going to bring me some new dish he made as a “house warming gift,” as he called it. He’s a good cook, so I’m not worried about it. We’ve been getting along well these days. I’m still trying to feel him out, but I know he’s trying and I feel bad or all the mean things I’ve said to him in the past. I guess I finally consider him family. He’s like a mother, always trying to take care of me though I push him away every time. It’s like he’s trying to fill the void Mother created.
Anyway, they’re going to come by today to meet Hiroshi and Chizu and see my new place. That has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? My new place.
February 2, 2008 (Nori: 17 years old, Ayane: 19 years old, Ichi: 22 years old)
Ichiro got an apartment. Actually, he got us an apartment. We moved all my things today. He did all his yesterday. He’s been working non-stop since he passed his final year, but whenever he wasn’t with me, he worked. I think he’s going to push himself too far. Then again, this is what he’s wanted to do for a long time.
Aya-chan decided to stay at the house. He has no reason to leave. When I was still living there, it was like they won a trophy and had to display it for everyone to see. Mom and Dad gave him everything and left me in the ditch. For the longest time, I thought he was trying to take my family away. In a way, he did. Once he came into the picture, Mother no longer needed me. Her tantrums got worse and it was clear she no longer wanted me around, but Daddy was always sure to make me feel as comfortable as possible. I don’t know why I was so naive about that twisted man. I hope none of that ever happens to Aya-chan.
Ichiro and I talked about bonds today, about a particular type of bond. I was taken aback. I had no idea he was familiar with it. Since the first time I found out, no one has mentioned a word about it. He said he had a bond with someone too. He explained so much about it. He told me about the school again. I told him there was no way I’d be going. It’s been too late already, and I don’t want to get close to anyone. Not even my other half.
I think I’ve given up on it or maybe I just don’t believe I’m capable of having something like that. Ichi tried to convince me there really is someone out there, bearing the same pain I am, waiting to connect. He said there are many of “us” like that. If my fighter does exist, if he still wants me, I hope he comes sooner than later.
October 26, 2009 (Nori: 18 years old, Ayane: 20 years old; Ichi: 23 years old)
I have finally found him, the one I have been waiting for. At first, I wasn’t sure why I’d be so foolish to allow a complete stranger so close, especially since he was arrogant. I was ready to make him yesterday’s garbage, but the letters spelling echoless shined so brightly they were blinding and everything became so clear. He was like the first light of dawn breaking the night sky. He is the most stunning creature I have ever seen. His name is Endou Akira.
I’ve never felt this before. It’s invigorating. I can’t want to see him again and I can’t wait to tell Ichiro and Aya-chan. I bet he’ll be as happy as I am.
January 15, 2010 (Nori: 18 years old, Ayane: 20 years old, Ichi: 23 years old)
It was a very short time and I cherished it, but the dream has ended. Akira is gone. I haven’t had contact with him in months. I guess I’ve been abandoned and at the worst possible time; Ichiro is gone too. I don't know what to feel; disappointment, heartbreak, anger. I think I'm at the point I don't care anymore. I was trying to be happy, even if it was pretending, but I don’t know that I can do that anymore. Ayane’s no help. He’s too concerned with other… things and I really need him now. Maybe I just need to be alone for awhile; clear my head, try to focus my thoughts, maybe I can go to that school everyone talks about. No, that’s probably not a good idea. Maybe I’ll get my own place again. It’s much easier that way and I won’t have to depend on anyone. Yeah, I’ll be much happier that way.
Last edited by nori on Mon May 31, 2010 5:46 pm; edited 12 times in total |
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